Joy

A few days ago, as I was whizzing through Des Moines on the illuminated interstate, my heart suddenly filled with joy. I don't know why I got so excited in that moment, but I rolled with it. I cranked up the volume on the radio and sang like no one was listening.

The next day, I tried to record my experience in my journal. But suddenly I felt guilty for being ok. For being better than ok! I had genuine thankfulness and I couldn't find it in me to admit it. I was scared of offending those who were hurting. How dare I smile and sing and be glad when people are suffering? When there is death, sin, rejection, and abandonment in this world?

Was I forgetting that the Christian life should be characterized by joy?

Time That Adds Up

Today, a couple birthday party invitations just about broke my heart. I was discussing my niece's first birthday with my nephews when they invited me to their parties. I had to explain to them that I wouldn't be around for their birthdays... I don't think either of them were too upset-- mostly just confused-- but I hated the fact that I wouldn't be there for them on their special days.

This summer has just been a series of similar stories of times when I realize I am going to miss out on a lot. I am thrilled for the new memories and relationships I will be making at Northwestern, but it doesn't make leaving my Iowa family and friends any less difficult.

I want every last moment to be meaningful. I want to get together with everyone, give them gifts and thank them for loving me. But time is running out. I only have three weeks left before orientation, and the days are filling up quickly! Will I be able to make them count?

What I don't seem to realize is that the weeks, months, and years that led to today are so much more valuable than the weeks leading to my departure. I may only have three weeks left with my loved ones for a while, but I have spent years with them already. Three weeks is not going to do much to add or take away from that.

Besides, I would take a year of living life together in the daily grind over three weeks of unforgettable last-chance events any day. The lackluster moments have added up, and these are what I will miss when I am at school. I look forward to all the memorable times I have planned before I head off, but I only need and love these moments because of the ones that were just life.

Accepted

I have written a lot about rejection. I was rejected and it hurt to the core of my being.

Isn't it supposed to? We are fundamentally relational creatures fashioned in the image of a God who has perfect fellowship within His three beings. He has created us with the purpose of living in harmonious relationships with Him and with each other. So when the desire of our hearts is to be loved, known, and accepted and this is interrupted by rejection... it is meant to hurt. This pain draws our attention to our need to be accepted into a community.

It is ok to have the feeling of rejection. There is nothing wrong with the desire to be united with another human being. However, as Christians, we have to be careful identifying too much as a reject.

"And He came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near. For through Him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus Himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord." -- Ephesians 2:17-21

You see, we were indeed rejects at one point, but we have been brought near to be part of a family and kingdom that is growing together for the glory of God. Although we may have real feelings of rejection in our life, we are not the rejected ones.

Despite the failings of human relationships, we are perfectly united to Christ through His death and resurrection.

"But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ-- by grace you have been saved-- and raised up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus." -- Ephesians 2:4-6

We are as accepted as we ever need to be.

This doesn't mean we need to ignore the feeling of human rejection. In my opinion, it is healthy to feel this pain. However, let it lead you directly to Christ, thanking Him that you are ok because your identity is rooted in Him. Also, stay filled with grace. Remember that you are not only united to Christ, but through Him you are also in the community of believers.

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ." -- Galatians 3:28

When someone makes you feel rejected, it is easy to become bitter toward them. Don't. Since our identity as  someone accepted is firm in Christ, we can be brave to forgive, to love, and to accept others knowing full well they may break our hearts.

So don't numb yourself to the pain of rejection-- we are relational. But don't wallow in rejection either. Know you have been accepted and that is your only identity from this day forward. Who calls rejected what God has called accepted?.... Son and Daughter?... Beloved?

(This post was inspired by what I have been learning in the True Discipleship Journal by Susan Hunt. Also, my church's sermon series through Ephesians... Can you tell ;))