Blessed Beyond Compare

Being here at school I feel like my spiritual growth is on fast forward. I am learning so much every day it is hard to keep up. I don't know if I will ever be able to write out everything I have learned in this first month, but one thing I am certain of for today: we have been blessed beyond compare.

It is getting cold here in Minnesota. Yesterday was in the mid-50s, and today my first steps out of the dorm were frigid. Yet by the time I left chapel, the sun was peaking through the clouds turning the gloomy cold into a stunning display of changing seasons. Fall is on it's way!

I was also able to talk to my cross country coach this morning. First I interviewed him for the school paper, then he interviewed me about how I am doing with my training. I was amazed at how he was able to bring both conversations back to God. Coming into the season I was afraid nothing would be able to compare to my amazing high school sports experience, but God has blessed me with another Christ-centered coach and a team I am proud to be apart of.

My next stop was a breakout chapel with several orientation groups. We looked through Ephesians for evidence of our identity in Christ. I was encouraged to hear my classmates and friends speak passionately about God's love for them.

Some days here are challenging. There have been many times I have questioned my adequacy for dealing with it all. But God has been faithfully reminding me that He is the one who will equip me. And that He will bless me and those around me in ways I couldn't even have asked for.

If it had been cloudy and gloomy today, I would have survived. I would have gone about my work and not complained about the lack of sun. But God blessed me with sunshine. He gifted me even when I didn't ask for it. He is undoubtedly a gracious Father.

Joy

A few days ago, as I was whizzing through Des Moines on the illuminated interstate, my heart suddenly filled with joy. I don't know why I got so excited in that moment, but I rolled with it. I cranked up the volume on the radio and sang like no one was listening.

The next day, I tried to record my experience in my journal. But suddenly I felt guilty for being ok. For being better than ok! I had genuine thankfulness and I couldn't find it in me to admit it. I was scared of offending those who were hurting. How dare I smile and sing and be glad when people are suffering? When there is death, sin, rejection, and abandonment in this world?

Was I forgetting that the Christian life should be characterized by joy?

Time That Adds Up

Today, a couple birthday party invitations just about broke my heart. I was discussing my niece's first birthday with my nephews when they invited me to their parties. I had to explain to them that I wouldn't be around for their birthdays... I don't think either of them were too upset-- mostly just confused-- but I hated the fact that I wouldn't be there for them on their special days.

This summer has just been a series of similar stories of times when I realize I am going to miss out on a lot. I am thrilled for the new memories and relationships I will be making at Northwestern, but it doesn't make leaving my Iowa family and friends any less difficult.

I want every last moment to be meaningful. I want to get together with everyone, give them gifts and thank them for loving me. But time is running out. I only have three weeks left before orientation, and the days are filling up quickly! Will I be able to make them count?

What I don't seem to realize is that the weeks, months, and years that led to today are so much more valuable than the weeks leading to my departure. I may only have three weeks left with my loved ones for a while, but I have spent years with them already. Three weeks is not going to do much to add or take away from that.

Besides, I would take a year of living life together in the daily grind over three weeks of unforgettable last-chance events any day. The lackluster moments have added up, and these are what I will miss when I am at school. I look forward to all the memorable times I have planned before I head off, but I only need and love these moments because of the ones that were just life.