Making Time for Family

I remember when Bekah wanted to join track when she was a freshman and I was a junior. I could not have been more opposed. I started running track at the small Christian school as an 8th grader, and it was the first time I had been known for me, not as a younger sister to one of my three older sisters.

If Bekah joined the team it would ruin everything! My friends would like her more, she would run faster, and I would lose my independence. The fears were mostly irrational, but they were very real for me and my insecurities.

Turns out I was totally wrong (surprise, surprise). Having my sister on the team was the best part of my last two years of track.

Now, when I look back on those years, I don't remember how many friends I made, how fast I ran, or if I felt independent. Instead I remember getting Noodles and Company after practice, driving home late at night after meets, singing in the car on the way to practice, and cheering for each other during races.

So here is my advice to you: Make time for your family. They may seem like a pain and all you can think of is how much you want to get away from them, but you need them. I'm four hours away from my siblings, and I miss them like crazy! I want nothing more than to drive around with the windows down singing with my sisters.

Take the time to do things together -- big and small. Spend every moment you can making memories with your family. They are going to stick around longer than any friend, and relationships with them are unbeatable.

Other Posts About Family
Time That Adds Up
I'm Gonna Make This Place Your Home

rest.

 

I don’t know how to write to you about this… At all costs I don’t want you to feel preached at and I don’t want to add anything to your to-do list. You already get that a lot.  I want to give you a chance to breathe. I want this to be a humble encouragement. If anything else it has been therapy for me to write it.

“You have called me higher, you have called me deeper, and I’ll go where you will lead me Lord, where you lead me Lord.”

I sang the words in Friday praise chapel. My heart and mind were racing as usual. It was the end of another long week, and I was late on homework, struggling with grades, failing at work, and injured as an athlete. I had been feeling one step behind all semester. Anxiety was my resting state.

 Then I sang this song. Called me higher? Called me deeper? Why? Why do I have to go further? I’m already running on empty. I don’t have anything left to do, Lord, please don’t call me to be even more uncomfortable.

I was desperate for rest, crying as I sat down in my chair. I gave up, and God was finally able to come in fully and the song began to take on a new message for me.

God was calling me higher and deeper than I would ever choose to go on my own. But He wasn’t asking me to try harder or be more. Instead, He was calling me to embrace what He had already given me.

I think most of us can say we have more asked of us than we can handle. Whether that pressure comes from someone else or ourselves, we are all fighting to reach certain expectations. We always feel like we need a break, but even when we get these, it doesn't seem to be enough to heal our weary, broken hearts.

And our Christianity doesn't seem to give relief. As followers of Jesus, we are told that hardship will come straight to us (John 15:18-20). But we do not need to despair in our tiredness.

Be comforted that you are in the exact place God has called you to. Discomfort is to be expected, but God is sovereign over this and He does not call you into hard work, He calls you into a hard leaning into Him. For He is the Sabbath rest you need and desire.

Take two minutes to breathe and pray. How has God been putting you through hardship lately? How have you responded to this? Let your heart collapse. In dying we live.

Further Reading

Stuck? Do the next thing

Vulnerability is the Safest Place

Guard your heart. This command comes from Proverbs 4:23 and it seems to be the golden rule in Christian dating. Christians like to think that if we withhold getting emotionally attached and spiritually intimate with someone of the opposite sex we will somehow save ourselves from the heartbreak of a failed romance and have more of ourselves to give to a future spouse.

But in protecting ourselves from the dangers of dating are we sabotaging the whole relationship process?

When you date someone the goal is to get to know them. And you don’t just want to know their favorite color and their hometown-- you want to know everything. You want intimacy and understanding. But Christians tend to set emotional boundaries on these things.

 (And outside of marriage there will always be a gap between emotional and physical intimacy. The intimacy I refer to in this post is emotional. Boundaries concerning physical intimacy are a different matter which I talk about in my post on purity.)

Don’t share parts of your life story that are too personal.  Don’t spend too much time alone. Don’t do bible studies together. We make all these boundaries for ourselves to postpone emotional intimacy until engagement or marriage when we can be sure this person can be trusted. But if we are not careful these boundaries for our hearts may become walls which will stifle all chances of authentic trust and vulnerability.

Perhaps there is a better way?