With this growing comes changes and choices. I am discovering a fear that I think most kids my age are dealing with: the fear of making the wrong decision. In my mind, I know there is no such thing. Long before I was old enough to know God's specific will for my life, I was told that there is no way to leave it. The design God has for me doesn't depend on a string of right choices. It is wise to listen to God's call, but the Bible isn't extremely specific about what Megan Reece should do with her life. So, as long as it is in line with what God does say in His word, I can make decisions freely and God will bless my ventures. I was taught that, if my desire was to glorify God, I could do that anywhere with anyone."I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice holy and acceptable to God, which is spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:1-2
As I've gotten older, this has deepened into other areas of life. My mom has been pounding it into my sisters and me that God doesn't have a soul mate lined up for us. We could marry any number of Christian young men and have a long, God-glorifying marriage. In short, as long as God's glory is my goal, He doesn't care what I choose to do.
"But seek first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33
Knowing this, how could I possibly be afraid of making a wrong choice? I was still missing something. My thinking was, "Well, God might be okay if I made this decision, but what if, in doing so, I miss out on something terrific?" I knew I couldn't leave God's will, but I feared it wasn't the best. This lie is based on ignorance of His love. Please don't believe this means I am believing that God's will for me is to give me every desire of my heart and make me happy. I know that isn't true. I will get hurt, broken, and painfully molded and my happiness is not God's goal. But He does love me and His plan is perfect.
"The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance." 2 Peter 3:9
To think I could make a decision that, even though it fit into God's will, would cause me to "miss out" on something is foolish. I will not get everything I want, circumstances will change in directions I don't desire, and I will get broken to bits. Life is going to hurt and be uncomfortable. But this is discipline. Not to mean that God is taking things away because I misbehaved and need to be punished, like a father takes away TV privileges. Instead, it is the father who slaps his young daughter's hand when it gets too close to the hot stove or gives her a time out when she dangerously crosses the street. Parents discipline their children out of love to make them better people. If God gave me everything I wanted when I wanted it, He would not love me.
"My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline or be weary of His reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom He loves, as a father the son whom He delights." Proverbs 3:11-12
In my life, God is going to withhold things I want very badly. Things that would have made me happy and would even bring Him glory! But He doesn't do it to punish me. He does it because He has something better planned. He might withhold a desire of my heart causing it to break, but this brokenness will lead to redemption and satisfaction in Him. Then, He will replace what I thought was the best for my life with what He knows to be the best for me. It is impossible for me to make the wrong decision, for God is in control and will work all things together for His perfect purposes. God's plan will always be better than mine. No questions asked. How dare I say I could be "missing out" while in God's will; is it not perfect? Can the one who designed the detailed biology of human body and the epic vastness of the galaxies not design the best for His children?
"And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever." 1 John 2:17
I will trust Him, no matter how difficult it is. Because I am His daughter, He knit me in my mother's womb with perfection and will continue to shape me as long as I live.
"Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen." Hebrews 13:20-21
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