I don’t know how to write to you about this… At all costs I don’t want you to feel preached at and I don’t want to add anything to your to-do list. You already get that a lot. I want to give you a chance to breathe. I want this to be a humble encouragement. If anything else it has been therapy for me to write it.
“You have called me higher, you have called me deeper, and I’ll
go where you will lead me Lord, where you lead me Lord.”
I sang the words in Friday praise chapel. My heart and mind were racing as usual. It was the end of another long week, and I was late on homework,
struggling with grades, failing at work, and injured as an athlete. I had been feeling
one step behind all semester. Anxiety was my resting state.
Then I sang this
song. Called me
higher? Called me deeper? Why? Why do I have to go further? I’m already running
on empty. I don’t have anything left to do, Lord, please don’t call me to be
even more uncomfortable.
I was desperate for rest, crying as I sat down in my chair. I gave up, and God
was finally able to come in fully and the song began to take on a new message
for me.
God was calling me higher and deeper than I would ever choose
to go on my own. But He wasn’t asking me to try harder or be more. Instead, He was calling me to
embrace what He had already given me.
I think most of us can say we have more asked of us than we can handle. Whether that pressure comes from someone else or ourselves, we are all fighting to reach certain expectations. We always feel like we need a break, but even when we get these, it doesn't seem to be enough to heal our weary, broken hearts.
And our Christianity doesn't seem to give relief. As followers of Jesus, we are told that hardship will come straight to us (John 15:18-20). But we do not need to despair in our tiredness.
And our Christianity doesn't seem to give relief. As followers of Jesus, we are told that hardship will come straight to us (John 15:18-20). But we do not need to despair in our tiredness.
Be comforted that
you are in the exact place God has called you to. Discomfort is to be expected,
but God is sovereign over this and He does not call you into hard work, He
calls you into a hard leaning into Him. For He is the Sabbath rest you need and
desire.
Take two minutes to breathe and pray. How has God been putting
you through hardship lately? How have you responded to this? Let your heart
collapse. In dying we live.
Further Reading
