Winter

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace." -- Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

From February 4,  when winter is feeling far too long and far too cold:

At the beginning of this week I was struggling. The stress and loneliness were crippling. I was tired in every way, but then so was everyone else. What made my problems harder than theirs? What gave me the right call a struggle what we all must call life? I silenced it. But that made my heart hurt all the more.

Then the snow came.

I was living in God's little snow globe and grace was pouring over me. My frozen state of tiredness melted away as God coated the earth with newness and beauty in the form of thousands of sparkling snow flakes. I was suddenly reminded of the beauty of the seasons taking their place in the turning of the earth. They come and go each year as God provides.

This snow was an answer to an unspoken prayer. It was a reminder of God's willingness to shower grace upon the earth's barrenness.

As the lifeless grass and frozen earth were being covered with glowing snow, I was reminded grace and the one who supplies it.

I slowed my regular hurried-college-student gate and walked into the falling, blowing, chilling flakes. The snow covered my hair, bit my cheeks, flew in my eyes, fell onto my tongue, crunched under my feet, and made me aware of God's unfailing love.

The wind blew through my coat as I pulled in my arms trying to trap the heat. At the same time I let out a sigh and my mind relaxed for the first time in weeks as a childlike smile took over my face.

"God, I am yours. I always have been. Thank you for this moment that you let me see that."

I don't know what I'm doing in this season, can we ever truly know how God works? If we did we would probably mess it up. But one thing I know, he is my father and he doesn't leave me for a moment.

"You have searched me and you know me! Where shall I go from your spirit?" -- Psalm 139

My goal is to have a post like this for each season. I hope you can forgive the awkwardness of me trying to be poetic (can we even call it that?) four times a year. I promise not to make it more frequent ;)